Junk Calls

 

My phone has been ringing every 15 minutes all morning long.

I usually screen calls and don't answer if I don't recognize the caller.

No messages were left so eventually I decided to give in and answer - three times - a recorded phishing message about a charge on my Amazon account - the second time I pressed 1 and told the person who answered that I knew they weren't Amazon and they hung up.  The third time I said they had been calling my number all morning and the response was "so what" before the hang up.

I guess if it continues I'll unplug the phone for the rest of the day.

This is so annoying.  I'm on the "No Calls" list.  I still get junk calls regularly but I just accept that as "modern life" but every 15 minutes is just a bit much.  

So yes, I can unplug the line, but that is depriving me of the use of my phone line for real incoming calls.

What we need is a system where we can list the numbers that we will accept calls from and ALL other numbers are blocked.  I wonder if such a thing already exists?

TV: Dark Winds

 

I liked this.  It was well done and intriguing.

But I have some concerns with the ending.

First, it was rather convoluted and I somewhat lost track of who was betraying who, when, and exactly what was supposed to have happened.

Second, I have some concern about the morality of covering up a crime : is it justified if it's for a "good" reason, and who decides what comprises a "good" or "bad" reason.  If this thing can be lied about then where is the line drawn between what can be lied about and what can't?

Movie: Orphan, First Kill

Well, this was just a lot of horror fun.

Julia Styles is great, and Isabelle Fuhrman is just as good.

My only quibble is with the small figure they used for back and side shots, since Fuhrman is now an adult, is too small and is jarring.

 

Netflix: Cabinet of Curiosities

This was a real disappointment.

Trite plots. Overlong.

Except the last episode (#8).  Essie Davis shines.

 

Fish Chowder

 

I made a fish chowder from scratch.

It was adequate.

Made for TV: For the Use of the Hall (1975)

 Written by Oliver Hailey.

Directed by Lee Grant

Starring: Barbara Barrie, David Hedison, Joyce Van Patten, Susan Anspach, George Furth, Aline MacMahon.

I watched this when it first appeared and have watched it many times since.

In it I have found so much comfort and understanding.  A way of looking at and accepting and finding joy in life.

Netflix: Black Butterflies

 

Just about everything about this was excellent.

It was well written - clever with lots of twists - interesting filming, well-acted.

And suitable for grownups.

I found I had sympathy, sometimes surprising myself, for all the characters.

Except Nora.  That character was a total bitch.  I was really disappointed when they didn't kill her off.

Movie: August: Osage County

 

Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts have big showy high drama parts in this movie and both got Oscar nominations for their roles.

But also in this movie in supporting roles are Julianne Nicholson and Juliette Lewis.  They don't have the big dramatic scenes but they both deliver solid performances.  They both have moments when they break your heart.

Julianne Nicholson in particular has never received the recognition she richly deserves.  She's always convincing in whatever role she does.

Not to ignore the rest of the cast. They're all good.

Death on the Nile

 

There is, of course, the original story written by Agatha Christsie.

There's the movie version with Peter Ustinov which is wonderful.

There's the TV version with David Suchet which is very good.

Then there's the new movie version.   In the 1940's this would have destroyed many careers.

Privacy

 

Of late I'm feeling very out of touch with the world.  Times have moved on and the world really belongs to people younger than I am.  I didn't think I would let this happen but it seems to be something that is out of my control, the world is moving on and in many ways I am not a part of it.

And I find I don't mind. 

One thing that strikes me is the difference in how people seem to feel about privacy.  I see that in the incredibly personal things people post online, blog, and podcast about - things that I would consider my business and no one else's.  Their lives and opinions are out there for the world to see, sympathize with, ridicule, whatever. 

I also notice it in clothing.  This exposure of the body with skimpy or tight clothes.  There seems to be no sense of the integrity of one's body, of the personal rather than the public.  Of a me that I don't expose to the world, just maybe to a trusted few.

There's also the seeming need to be constantly in contact with others.  I know I'm and introvert and tend to need time on my own, but out in the city I'm surrounded by people nattering/texting away on their phones, and I'm sure they do the same at home.  I like being out of reach.  I remember 30 years ago you went on holiday and you were really out of touch with home - long distance was expensive and in a home emergency it might require the police to track you down.  It was such a freeing feeling to be going on holiday, to be really getting away form everything and not knowing at all what was happening at home.

Tired

 

I may have written about this before, I'm not sure.  But it's my blog so I can repeat myself if I want.

I find myself more and more thinking in terms of moving to a senior independent living building here in the city.  I'm tired of owning and having to deal with repairs etc, I like the idea of renting and things like plumbing, appliances etc not being my problems to deal with.  It just feels so freeing to think in those terms.

Also, I'd be in a building with only other seniors - no kids, young partying people and all that youthful enthusiasm which anymore just leaves me feeling annoyed and tired.

I don't know how soon this will come about but knowing myself I know that in a sense the decision has already been made and it's just a matter of time until I'm ready.

Already I find myself clearing things out and thinking of what else I can get rid of.

I was thinking of fitting into a (slightly) smaller space and I realize that most of my furniture I would be quite happy to get rid of and replace just what was necessary.  I have been a minimalist for years and am always eliminating things, but making this move could be a chance to really pare down.

Also, the more I eliminate the less there will be for my executor to deal with.

Changing Demographics

 

The condo building I live in is almost entirely one bedroom plus solarium units, around 600 square feet.

When I moved here fifteen years ago the occupants were almost all retired people or young people (the majority of them gay it seemed) living on their own.

The last year or two there has been a large influx of young couples with young children.

I think this is because of real estate prices in this city.  This building is one of the more moderately priced places downtown and couples who would in the past never have considered trying to live in such a small space now find it all they can manage.

For crabby old me this has meant much more noise and activities around the building.  Movie nights, barbecues, yard sales, kids playing in the yard.  

It's been bad enough living here with all the dogs.

So I think it may be time to be looking at a move to an independent living retirement community.

Some people will claim that being around young people/families helps keep you young.  I'm not interested.  I want to live around my own (old) kind.

Last times?

 

Yesterday I had a craving for roast chicken so I went to the store and picked up a chicken and brought it home and roasted it.  I was going to stuff it but got lazy at the last minute and didn't.  So a while later it was done and then I had to pull the meat off the bones and pack up the bones, skin etc for green composting, then make gravy.  It was good but it was so much bother and there seemed to be so much chicken fat involved in all this processing.  And I was still left with the roasting pan to scrub out.

Usually when I want a whole chicken I just buy a fresh-cooked one from the store.  They're really good meat (better than anything I manage to cook at home) and a reasonable price.

So all that has left me wondering if I will ever again make the effort to roast a chicken.

Which has led to me, as a person in his seventies,  thinking about the last time we do things. Life comes to an end and for everything there is a last time we will do it.

When I was around 30 my parents were selling their property in the country and one afternoon while I was there alone I decided to climb a tree.  In the decade or more they lived there I had never done that and it occurred to me that if not that day, I might never climb a tree again.  So I did, and it was fun.  But I haven't climbed a tree since and at this point it seems likely that I won't again.

Around ten years ago friends arranged an ice skating party on the lake at their cottage.  They cleared an area near the shore and a group of us skated around all afternoon and it was joyful.  Even though I had skated a lot growing up I found myself very unsteady on the skates and I was pretty sure that it was the last time I would do it.  I was right and now I can't imagine ever risking broken bones or strains by getting on skates again.

I'm not upset about any of this.  Nostalgic yes, and perhaps a little sad.  But accepting.

Dinner Out - Sigh

I should enjoy going out to dinner.  It's a chance to see friends and socialize.  After all the isolation of the last couple of years I should be glad of the company.  And I am- to a degree - but, due to the pandemic or not, I find I have to make myself do social things.  I have always been quite happy being on my own but in the past I generally looked forward to spending at least some time with others.

As I get older I find I prefer going out to lunch.  Going out to dinner is more expensive, the food choices are usually fancier and more likely to cause stomach troubles, people drink more at dinner (and I don't drink and don't enjoy being around people after they have had enough to drink that it shows), people tend to linger longer over dinner (and I only want to spend so much time with people, I get anxious to be by myself ),  and it means that I have to go home after dark and at my age I just feel vulnerable navigating the evening world.

Changing World?

I went shopping to pick up a box of assorted chocolates as a gift.

Two grocery stores and two drug stores later and no luck.

Lots of Hallowe'en candy on the shelves though.  It's only Sept 2!

I finally found  few boxes on a bottom shelf at the third drug store.  I hope they're not stale!

So I'm wondering if this is something that has changed in the world, boxes of chocolates no longer being desirable, and I have missed it happening?

 

Shopping

 

I went to buy a battery for my(very old - it may be the first version) -  Apple TV remote, which I thought was a straightforward task.

I ended up going to four places before I found one and that involved walking down to the Eaton Centre.  Schools have started up, the downtown is full of students on top of all the people who are normally out. (This includes the high schoolers from the nearby high school and they are overall an obnoxious bunch, rude and loud and totally self-involved, and oh so very brave when in groups.  Such a contrast to the university students and who are at least beginning to behave like adults.)

It amazes me that I live in downtown Toronto and it can be so hard to find something as simple as a battery.  I find myself doing more online shopping - not necessarily for delivery but to order online and then pickup.

This is another way in which I am withdrawing from the world.  I gave up going to theatre, ballet, opera. concerts a long time ago but it has been years (even before the pandemic) since I even went to a movie.

This is not just age I think.  I have always thrived on time alone and as a retired person it has become easier and easier to just stay home.  And in the internet age not as isolating as it would have been before.

I go out for walks mainly because my cardiologist, and my family doctor, have urged me to keep moving.  I try to find routes where I don't meet too many people, but also where there are some people and some traffic - I don't feel safe walking in basically deserted areas on my own.  I never wander down into the ravine system anymore.

Netflix: Persuasion (2022)

 

The fact that this film is a mess is NOT Dakota Johnson's fault.

The fault lies with the script and the direction.

I am a Jane Austen fan.  There have been multiple filmed versions of Persuasion and I found things to like in all of them.  Except this one.

Movie: Mary, Mary (1963)

 

Debbie Reynolds, Barry Nelson, Michael Rennie, Diane McBain

This is one of my favourite movies. I watch it whenever I get the chance.  Unfortunately it does not seem to be available on DVD, BlueRay or the iTunes store.  The last time I saw it was a few years ago when I was visiting a friend who has cable and it was on TCM.

I first saw this film on TV as a teenager.  It made a huge impression on me.  The wit of the script, the apartment they lived in, the sophisticated New York life.  And I was sure this was the life I was headed for with wit, a nice apartment, my own Barry Nelson, intelligent friends and bagels (which I had never heard of before).

I got the bagels.  And a nice enough condo. And some great friends. 

But not the lifestyle.  Or a Barry Nelson.

Age

 

When I was younger

I looked at old people

doing this and that

and said,

Never, I will never...

But now, here I am,

and I do.

And smile.

Aug 15, 2022

 

I've pretty much given up writing this blog.

No one seems to read it anyway and while I have ideas of topics to write about when it comes to sitting down and doing it I just don't see the point.

Blogs used to be fun.  But with the loss of the "Next Blog" button I haven't found a new blog to read in years.

Self-control - lack therof

 

So "healthy eating" is shot to hell this week.

I've been to McDonald's AND KFC.

I also bought shortbread cookies.

And a quiche.

I don't know what sets this off.  I get an idea in my head of "something good" and seem to go on autopilot, but then once I have allowed myself one thing other things pop into my head and off I go eating things I really, in my calm thinking periods, want to avoid.

I don't seem to be good at allowing myself one treat and leaving it at that.

Not a pulled muscle.

 

So my pulled muscle of a while ago turned out to be sciatica.

It went on for 2 months and one week during that time I could hardly move.  It was a little better if I walked bent at 90 degrees at the waist.  I had to call an UBER to go to a friend's house which is a ten minute walk away.

I've never had sciatica before and I hope to never have it again.  It is a totally miserable experience that I would not wish it on anyone.

I'm currently having physiotherapy.  Not that it can guarantee no further attacks, but I'm doing exercises that should increase my range of motion and strengthen muscles.

The good part of all this is that I am feeling more flexible and that perhaps I'm not quite as old and decrepit as I have been feeling lately.

Recent TV

 Heartstopper

Teenagers - not the sort of thing I usually watch, but this was well done, charming and, most of all, kind.

Grace and Frankie, final episodes

Oh dear.

The Madame Blanche Mysteries

Started off ok, but then....

Dalgliesh

A new version starring Bertie Carvel.  I enjoyed watching this.  Although at times it could seem a little melodramatic, especially compared to excellent earlier versions, one starring Martin Shaw and one starring Roy Marsden.   That's not really a criticism and I really hope they make more.  

Manhunt, Season Two

Well done.

All Creatures Great and Small, Season Two

This series is so likeable, I suppose partly because it takes us back to what seems an innocent time, although World War Two is looming in the timeline.

Detatched

 

Ontario seems to be treating the pandemic as "over" and people are getting back to a more "normal" life.  I think this is happening too soon but since I'm retired it's easier for me than for most to continue to limit contact and to continue to wear a mask - although a mask when others aren't wearing them is not nearly as protective.

But I'm realizing more and more that I'm used to being on my own and away from the world.  I've always been introverted and not that comfortable with people but I've found on the few occasions of late when I've been with friends that while it's nice to see them I'm glad when it's time to say goodbye and I can be on my own again.

I'm finding being in the busier world with more people incredibly annoying.  People just get on my nerves so much.  I just don't have the patience to deal with them.

I was considering going to visit some friends this summer but then the mere idea of coping with travel, of getting on a plane and being trapped in the air with humans just feels repulsive.  

At this point I don't know if I'm ever going to be willing, or able, to go back to life as it was.

Netflix: W1A

 

This British comedy is a delight.

As only the British can do comedy.

You have to pay attention though, the lines come fast and funny.

April 13, 2022

 

It's been a while since I've been on here.

I've been dealing with a health issue, which now seems to be resolving well, and some other life issues which are mostly still up in the air.

Add to that the situation in Ukraine, and other places, a lot of the world really, and I just haven't felt like logging on.

I've continued to read and watch video stuff.  

I  recommend a movie called "Mass".

On Netflix:

W1A is excellent.

I'm enjoying Casual.

I'm watching season 2 of Bridgerton but finding it slow.  Maybe it's too much just more of season 1.

I was invited to the seaside by friends and was tempted but in the end travel anxiety and Covid concerns have won out and I've decided not to travel.

A friend promised to help me out with something but has let me down.

I have a manageable but annoying plumbing issue.  I called my regular plumbing service two weeks ago and they promised to call back, but haven't.  

A couple of medical personnel have promised to get back to me, days ago, and haven't.

I'm tired, I'm tired of dealing with things. I'm tired of owning a place and being responsible for upkeep. I'm considering moving to an independent living retirement type place.

On a positive note I've started clearing things out of my storage locker.  Lots of  "maybe I'll need it someday" stuff hitting the trash or building exchange area.

Lending Books

 

I've never liked lending books.  Occasionally I would be talked, or shamed, or coerced into doing so and other than other book people, in spite of all the pious promises, most often they were never returned.

I used to shudder when a guest even glanced toward one of my bookcases.  I wished I had a large enough place that I could have a locked room for a library where no one was ever allowed to enter.  Or better still a secret second apartment that no one but me knew about - unfortunately that was never financially realistic.  Actually, not because of books, but I still love the idea of having a second place that no one but me knows about.

As I became more of a minimalist I gradually dramatically downsized the number of books, and bookcases, that I own.  Now I have less than 100 physical books that take up the two bottom shelves of my one bookcase.  I keep that bookcase in the bedroom and pray that no one ever makes the effort to bend down and look at the titles.  And no, I would not want to lend any of those really special books to anyone, not even a fellow book person.

That I guess is one advantage of ebooks.  No one needs to even know what titles you own.

Fragile

 

I've been coping with a pulled muscle in my lower back for the last week.  It's slowly getting better but even dealing with simple things, like loading/unloading the washer when getting up and down from that level causes twinges of pain, has made me think about just how easily this self-sufficient independent life I lead could be derailed.

I don't know how I managed to pull the muscle.  Possibly changing the sheets a week ago and maybe moving sideways to lift the mattress to tuck in the sheets, or maybe while vacuuming and twisting about.  Carrying groceries home?  Bending down to a lower kitchen cupboard?

Netflix: Falling for Figaro

 

This is a rather charming little film.  

Nothing fancy here but likeable characters and a simple, probably obvious plot that manages to be charming and, at moments, even moving.

Holding it all together is Joanna Lumley who effortlessly steals every scene she's in, if not the whole movie.

Netflix: All of Us Are Dead

 

This was an amazing series.

Watching the first few episodes I wondered where it could possibly continue for 12 episodes but it did and they were all well done.

I found myself totally involved with the characters and the storyline just flowed along and felt totally believable.

It also felt very human, very much about life and loss, and values.

I am so impressed with the Korean programming and I have seen on Netflix.

Book: The Heart's History, by Lewis DeSimone

 

This is a beautifully written book.  

About a group of gay friends in the early 2000's.

I just simply like everything about this book.

Netflix: Squid Game

 

I wasn't going to watch this.  I saw a clip and decided it was not for me.  But then I heard so much about it and decided to give it a try.  I liked it very much.  There was a lot of violence and tension, but also lovely moments of humanity.  At times I was in tears.   

Jan 14, 2022

 

Currently I'm feeling the most uncomfortable about going out in the world (for grocery shopping, the library) as I have since the beginning of this in 2020.

I have been realizing more that even after the pandemic is "over" things probably are not going to be the same.

My Saturday night dinner buddies for example.  We have been going out for dinner in some combination of people on most Saturday nights for years.  Now, one person has died (not of Covid) and two others aren't speaking to each other.  I don't know if we will ever get back to those dinners.  At the same time I've actually enjoyed not HAVING to do that on Saturday evenings, and I've also enjoyed not having to cope with restaurant food which so often messes up my delicate digestive system.

I've also been thinking about travelling.  I've never liked the actual travel part of going away - getting to the airport, dealing with the airline and security and customs and immigration and waiting in crowded airport lounges and sitting in a cramped seat and maybe being annoyed by obnoxious passengers etc etc.  I travel mainly to see the people at the other end.  But when I think about that I realize that visiting friends often involves going to restaurants or eating food that they prepare and that often leads to digestive problems that are even harder to handle when travelling.  So even when the pandemic is over I may never go back to travelling.  It is sad to think about never seeing some of these people again but there you are.  I'm over seventy and my life has been getting more centered around myself and home as I age, and being an introvert I've never been that involved with the world anyway.  It's been years since I went to a movie or a concert or a play- things that for many years I did regularly.   I don't think this withdrawal is necessarily a consequence of the pandemic, but the pandemic has certainly exacerbated it.

Relationships

In my younger days, when I wanted to break up with someone but didn't want to hurt their feelings, it was always such a relieved happy feeling when I finally was obnoxiously passive aggressive enough that they broke up with me. 

Jan 4, 2022

 

Happy new year.  This has been the flattest feeling start of a new year that I can recall.  Not that I'm alone, I think starting a new year in the midst of yet another Covid wave has many people feeling kind of zonked out.

But, life goes on, I've had three vaccine doses, I'm comfortable in my home and have food in stock, I have lots of books to read and it looks like some interesting things coming to Netflix this month.

It could be worse.  It could be so much much worse.  I'm one of the lucky ones regarding the actual effects that this pandemic has had on my life.