Movie: August: Osage County

 

Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts have big showy high drama parts in this movie and both got Oscar nominations for their roles.

But also in this movie in supporting roles are Julianne Nicholson and Juliette Lewis.  They don't have the big dramatic scenes but they both deliver solid performances.  They both have moments when they break your heart.

Julianne Nicholson in particular has never received the recognition she richly deserves.  She's always convincing in whatever role she does.

Not to ignore the rest of the cast. They're all good.

Death on the Nile

 

There is, of course, the original story written by Agatha Christsie.

There's the movie version with Peter Ustinov which is wonderful.

There's the TV version with David Suchet which is very good.

Then there's the new movie version.   In the 1940's this would have destroyed many careers.

Privacy

 

Of late I'm feeling very out of touch with the world.  Times have moved on and the world really belongs to people younger than I am.  I didn't think I would let this happen but it seems to be something that is out of my control, the world is moving on and in many ways I am not a part of it.

And I find I don't mind. 

One thing that strikes me is the difference in how people seem to feel about privacy.  I see that in the incredibly personal things people post online, blog, and podcast about - things that I would consider my business and no one else's.  Their lives and opinions are out there for the world to see, sympathize with, ridicule, whatever. 

I also notice it in clothing.  This exposure of the body with skimpy or tight clothes.  There seems to be no sense of the integrity of one's body, of the personal rather than the public.  Of a me that I don't expose to the world, just maybe to a trusted few.

There's also the seeming need to be constantly in contact with others.  I know I'm and introvert and tend to need time on my own, but out in the city I'm surrounded by people nattering/texting away on their phones, and I'm sure they do the same at home.  I like being out of reach.  I remember 30 years ago you went on holiday and you were really out of touch with home - long distance was expensive and in a home emergency it might require the police to track you down.  It was such a freeing feeling to be going on holiday, to be really getting away form everything and not knowing at all what was happening at home.

Tired

 

I may have written about this before, I'm not sure.  But it's my blog so I can repeat myself if I want.

I find myself more and more thinking in terms of moving to a senior independent living building here in the city.  I'm tired of owning and having to deal with repairs etc, I like the idea of renting and things like plumbing, appliances etc not being my problems to deal with.  It just feels so freeing to think in those terms.

Also, I'd be in a building with only other seniors - no kids, young partying people and all that youthful enthusiasm which anymore just leaves me feeling annoyed and tired.

I don't know how soon this will come about but knowing myself I know that in a sense the decision has already been made and it's just a matter of time until I'm ready.

Already I find myself clearing things out and thinking of what else I can get rid of.

I was thinking of fitting into a (slightly) smaller space and I realize that most of my furniture I would be quite happy to get rid of and replace just what was necessary.  I have been a minimalist for years and am always eliminating things, but making this move could be a chance to really pare down.

Also, the more I eliminate the less there will be for my executor to deal with.

Changing Demographics

 

The condo building I live in is almost entirely one bedroom plus solarium units, around 600 square feet.

When I moved here fifteen years ago the occupants were almost all retired people or young people (the majority of them gay it seemed) living on their own.

The last year or two there has been a large influx of young couples with young children.

I think this is because of real estate prices in this city.  This building is one of the more moderately priced places downtown and couples who would in the past never have considered trying to live in such a small space now find it all they can manage.

For crabby old me this has meant much more noise and activities around the building.  Movie nights, barbecues, yard sales, kids playing in the yard.  

It's been bad enough living here with all the dogs.

So I think it may be time to be looking at a move to an independent living retirement community.

Some people will claim that being around young people/families helps keep you young.  I'm not interested.  I want to live around my own (old) kind.

Last times?

 

Yesterday I had a craving for roast chicken so I went to the store and picked up a chicken and brought it home and roasted it.  I was going to stuff it but got lazy at the last minute and didn't.  So a while later it was done and then I had to pull the meat off the bones and pack up the bones, skin etc for green composting, then make gravy.  It was good but it was so much bother and there seemed to be so much chicken fat involved in all this processing.  And I was still left with the roasting pan to scrub out.

Usually when I want a whole chicken I just buy a fresh-cooked one from the store.  They're really good meat (better than anything I manage to cook at home) and a reasonable price.

So all that has left me wondering if I will ever again make the effort to roast a chicken.

Which has led to me, as a person in his seventies,  thinking about the last time we do things. Life comes to an end and for everything there is a last time we will do it.

When I was around 30 my parents were selling their property in the country and one afternoon while I was there alone I decided to climb a tree.  In the decade or more they lived there I had never done that and it occurred to me that if not that day, I might never climb a tree again.  So I did, and it was fun.  But I haven't climbed a tree since and at this point it seems likely that I won't again.

Around ten years ago friends arranged an ice skating party on the lake at their cottage.  They cleared an area near the shore and a group of us skated around all afternoon and it was joyful.  Even though I had skated a lot growing up I found myself very unsteady on the skates and I was pretty sure that it was the last time I would do it.  I was right and now I can't imagine ever risking broken bones or strains by getting on skates again.

I'm not upset about any of this.  Nostalgic yes, and perhaps a little sad.  But accepting.

Dinner Out - Sigh

I should enjoy going out to dinner.  It's a chance to see friends and socialize.  After all the isolation of the last couple of years I should be glad of the company.  And I am- to a degree - but, due to the pandemic or not, I find I have to make myself do social things.  I have always been quite happy being on my own but in the past I generally looked forward to spending at least some time with others.

As I get older I find I prefer going out to lunch.  Going out to dinner is more expensive, the food choices are usually fancier and more likely to cause stomach troubles, people drink more at dinner (and I don't drink and don't enjoy being around people after they have had enough to drink that it shows), people tend to linger longer over dinner (and I only want to spend so much time with people, I get anxious to be by myself ),  and it means that I have to go home after dark and at my age I just feel vulnerable navigating the evening world.

Changing World?

I went shopping to pick up a box of assorted chocolates as a gift.

Two grocery stores and two drug stores later and no luck.

Lots of Hallowe'en candy on the shelves though.  It's only Sept 2!

I finally found  few boxes on a bottom shelf at the third drug store.  I hope they're not stale!

So I'm wondering if this is something that has changed in the world, boxes of chocolates no longer being desirable, and I have missed it happening?

 

Shopping

 

I went to buy a battery for my(very old - it may be the first version) -  Apple TV remote, which I thought was a straightforward task.

I ended up going to four places before I found one and that involved walking down to the Eaton Centre.  Schools have started up, the downtown is full of students on top of all the people who are normally out. (This includes the high schoolers from the nearby high school and they are overall an obnoxious bunch, rude and loud and totally self-involved, and oh so very brave when in groups.  Such a contrast to the university students and who are at least beginning to behave like adults.)

It amazes me that I live in downtown Toronto and it can be so hard to find something as simple as a battery.  I find myself doing more online shopping - not necessarily for delivery but to order online and then pickup.

This is another way in which I am withdrawing from the world.  I gave up going to theatre, ballet, opera. concerts a long time ago but it has been years (even before the pandemic) since I even went to a movie.

This is not just age I think.  I have always thrived on time alone and as a retired person it has become easier and easier to just stay home.  And in the internet age not as isolating as it would have been before.

I go out for walks mainly because my cardiologist, and my family doctor, have urged me to keep moving.  I try to find routes where I don't meet too many people, but also where there are some people and some traffic - I don't feel safe walking in basically deserted areas on my own.  I never wander down into the ravine system anymore.