Netflix: TV: Flowers

This is a British series about an eccentric British family, as only the British can be eccentric.

The first season really grabbed my attention and led to a lovely and moving final episode.

The second season was eccentric beyond even my tolerance, but again the final episode was good, although it left things unresolved.

I checked on Wikipedia and it does not look like there will be a third season.

July 29, 2020

It's hard to believe that July is almost over.  In some ways it seems like a long time that I've been distancing yet at the same time it feels like a week.

Over the last several years as I've aged into my seventies I've often found myself remembering incidents and whole periods from my past.  Some things that I regret, more so in what I did or didn't do for other people than in decisions I made about myself.  Some things that I'm proud of, moments when I stood up for something, or picked the hard but "right" choice, or was simply kind.

But just in these last few days I've been thinking back about the person I was at various times in my life, which tends to feel almost like someone else.  And when I do look at that person I'm feel such compassion for him, for what he was and for how difficult it was for him to deal with the world, how overwhelmed he often was, how lonely, how hard he was trying.  I would just like to be able to give him a hug and not so much tell him that it would be all right but that he would survive and that someone understood.

In many ways that person is still me.  I still find it difficult to cope with the world and unfamiliar situations, I'm still very socially awkward, still largely alone.  The big difference is that I am retired and don't have to face going into a job and coping with supervisors and co-workers and all the other difficulties of the workplace - and while I have health issues they are all currently under control.  Also, I no longer torture myself with doubts about whether I'm doing the right things or if I'm wasting my life.  

Overwhelmed

I don't have enough time in the day.

I spend time with podcasts, and reading, and Great Courses, and Netflix and other video material, and internet news etc.

Somehow I have to squeeze in cooking and grocery shopping and laundry and housework.

How did I ever hold down a fulltime job for all those years?

Re Netflix

I've had Netflix for two months now so the novelty has worn off and I think I pretty much know how I will be using it going forward.

I had expected far more movies, at least movies that I actually want to watch, than there are.

There is far less gay content than I had hoped.

I have very little interest anymore in science fiction (20 years ago I would have been thrilled with all there is on offer). 

I have no interest in shows about people with supernatural powers, or superpowers in general.  Or magic.  Or time travel.  

I don't much care about sex comedies.

I like murder mysteries but not spy stories or secret government agencies or violent vigilantes.

The Nordic countries seem to do the best job of creating these.  

I wish they would do series based on one year at time.  I hate cliffhangers, especially when it turns out they don't do the next season and you never know what happens.  Doing more than one season is ok, but I prefer it when each season is it's own story - things can carry over from a previous season but each season should be complete in itself.  

Movie: Lazy Eye (2016)

Just a lovely low-budget (I assume) independent (I assume) film about two grown-up gay men.  No melodrama, no hysterics.

Everything was done well - acting, directing, writing, camera.

10 out of 10

Confession

I confess.

I'm not particularly unhappy about social isolation.  It is 14 weeks today since I saw a friend in person and I'm enjoying having this time completely to myself.

It's not that I don't like my friends or that I never want to see them again.  I'm an introvert and I have always enjoyed time on my own and this long run of it has been pretty wonderful.

One thing I have found is that not going out to restaurants and preparing almost all my own food has led to very few problems with my usually very touchy gut.

I also have not been drinking at all.

Usually getting together with friends involves drinks and meals and I always have problems trying to find plain food on restaurant menus.  I usually have one drink while others have several and then they have wine with their meal so by the end of the evening I'm sober and they're not and I'm stuck listing to their under the influence conversation.  And often I'm left with just water while they're "sipping" their last glass of wine for what feels like hours.

I'm never really comfortable being out in the world surrounded by people.  It's always such a relief to get home.  

So while I would never wish a pandemic on the world for me a least there's an upside.

Neither a Borrower or Lender Be

I am in most ways a minimalist.  Possessions and design.  Including travel and "experiences" - I read so many things about people being minimalists so they can travel - that's fine but I think travel can be overdone too.

But that's not what I started out to write about.

Another thing I see minimalists saying is to borrow things rather than buy them.   That can work between some people but in my experience things that I have lent to others have generally never been returned.  Including one case in which a "friend" borrowed a very expensive almost new item and then immediately cut off all contact with me and never returned it.  

Or things are returned damaged or showing great signs of wear and tear.

Nor am I perfect.  I recall once being asked by a friend to return something they said I had borrowed quite a while before.  I swore to them that I didn't have it and in fact had never borrowed it - and I was being totally honest, I had no memory of it at all.  Then months later I was looking for something and came across the item.  I returned the item and made an abject apology both for keeping it so long and for having forgotten it and denied borrowing it and for not making an immediate effort to look for it when they asked.  That was all well but the friendship was never the same and eventually ended.

When I still had many many books I used to hate it when people would even look at my bookshelves because it would so often lead to a request to "borrow" and "I always return books I borrow".  I often wished I could have a separate room where I could lock the door and never let anyone in.  Now I have very few books which of course means they have been selected for their personal meaning to me so they are even more valuable to me.  I keep them on the bottom two shelves of bookcase in the bedroom and no one recently has made the effort to bend down to check them out.

I try to use my own things or make do or buy what I need.  If I do borrow something I am very careful with it and return it as soon as possible.  I'm just not comfortable being a borrower or a lender.