Neither a Borrower or Lender Be

I am in most ways a minimalist.  Possessions and design.  Including travel and "experiences" - I read so many things about people being minimalists so they can travel - that's fine but I think travel can be overdone too.

But that's not what I started out to write about.

Another thing I see minimalists saying is to borrow things rather than buy them.   That can work between some people but in my experience things that I have lent to others have generally never been returned.  Including one case in which a "friend" borrowed a very expensive almost new item and then immediately cut off all contact with me and never returned it.  

Or things are returned damaged or showing great signs of wear and tear.

Nor am I perfect.  I recall once being asked by a friend to return something they said I had borrowed quite a while before.  I swore to them that I didn't have it and in fact had never borrowed it - and I was being totally honest, I had no memory of it at all.  Then months later I was looking for something and came across the item.  I returned the item and made an abject apology both for keeping it so long and for having forgotten it and denied borrowing it and for not making an immediate effort to look for it when they asked.  That was all well but the friendship was never the same and eventually ended.

When I still had many many books I used to hate it when people would even look at my bookshelves because it would so often lead to a request to "borrow" and "I always return books I borrow".  I often wished I could have a separate room where I could lock the door and never let anyone in.  Now I have very few books which of course means they have been selected for their personal meaning to me so they are even more valuable to me.  I keep them on the bottom two shelves of bookcase in the bedroom and no one recently has made the effort to bend down to check them out.

I try to use my own things or make do or buy what I need.  If I do borrow something I am very careful with it and return it as soon as possible.  I'm just not comfortable being a borrower or a lender.