Thoughts on Aging. Aug 28, 2023

 

I am very grateful to still be alive in my mid-70s.  Many people do not get to this age and the experience of aging is very interesting and is part of life and I'm glad not to have missed it.

When you're young aging seems like a sad thing and you tend to think of your body getting old and your looks and abilities fading.  Those things are true, and they matter, but when you are actually old they matter less and less.  

You do have a sense of a life having been lived and that is a good and comforting thing. You of course do hope that it is lived for a while longer.  It becomes easier to live in the day - you still plan ahead but you don't count on tomorrow coming in the same way you once did.

If you're lucky, as I have been, you also get to retire in a reasonably comfortable financial and physical situation and the freedom of the post-retirement years for me has been a wonderful thing. 

Like most people I think my greatest concern with aging is my mental state and I am grateful every day that I am still able to function on my own.  Not that those little "senior moments" when you have trouble recalling something don't cause concern.

Then there is death.  It looms closer.  Yet it is less of a concern as it does get closer.  At my age I have lost friends and of course many of the public figures I grew up knowing have also passed.  So there is a feeling that in my turn I will be part of that process of the people and the times I knew passing from the world and I will be simply taking my place in that. It feels a little melancholy but not really frightening.  

I don't believe in an afterlife, I think when I die I will simply be gone.

Many people die at young ages which is not "fair".  Especially deaths that are not due to illness or accidents but are caused by war, crime, anger, jealousy, poverty- things that don't need to be but are only there because of human actions.

On Demand

 

I find that I never watch any program on live TV now.  Everything I watch is either on demand or on the internet or on a DVD I've borrowed from the library.

Recently I was thinking back to "the old days" , as we old folks are wont to do, and remembering waiting all week for the next episode of a series on PBS.

Also, having to be sure to be in front of the TV at the right (and only) time to catch the next episode or a series you watched.  If you missed it that was it unless you were able to catch it months later on a summer rerun.

Not that I mind being able to see things when I choose, it's wonderful.  My only issue is that there is so much that I would like to watch and not enough time.  

I generally spend my mornings doing chores and errands (I like to get out and home before noon in order to avoid the busier world from lunchtime onward), then the afternoon reading,TV after dinner, then more reading before turning off the light and going to sleep.  

I thought I would have so much time for myself when I retired but the days fly by and there's no possible way to do, read, see all the things I would like.

Laundry Soap

 

I have noticed that powdered laundry soap seems to be disappearing.  There are very few packages or brands on the grocery store shelf and the price has soared.  Some stores don't stock it at all.

I have been coerced by this to start using liquid detergent and while it does the job I wonder why, at a time when there is so much concern about plastic waste, I'm being forced to use a product that results in an empty plastic container that has to be dealt with.  With the powdered detergent you're left with an easily biodegradable cardboard box.

I don't like the laundry pods either.  They leave you with no control over how much detergent you're going to use per load.  The manufacturer has complete control over how many loads you can do with one package.

Old vs Elderly

As a person in my 70's I've seen people my age referred to as both "old" and as "elderly" and I have been thinking about what the difference is.  I know that I don't mind being referred to as "old" (because I know I am!) but I'm not so pleased with the "elderly" label.

To me the difference comes down to how you are able to function in the world.  I think elderly becomes the correct term when there are things you can no longer manage on your own.  Managing on your own is key and I'm very grateful that I'm still able to live on my own and take care of myself.

Certainly there are things that don't function the way they once did.  I have medications that I take to deal with some things, I can't run or walk really fast for any significant distance, I have an ankle and knee that still bother a bit after an injury several years ago, there are foods that my gut doesn't handle well, but these are manageable things that make me feel old but not elderly.

What I do find difficult now is dealing with the outside world.  It seems busy and things seem to move so quickly and I can feel overwhelmed with too much happening at the same time.  I don't like being in busy stores or on busy sidewalks.  I'm not as good at new situations and I find people get impatient with me because I take more time to process new information or instructions.  This is when I feel elderly.  I'm still managing but I feel less confident about my coping abilities.

I pretty much stopped driving quite a few years ago (when I gave up owning a car) and certainly now I would not even attempt to drive a car downtown in the city. 

Movie Makeovers

 

I watch a lot of old movies and tv shows. 

A thing that often happens is the "makeover" of a female character who is considered "plain" into one who is "fashionable" and thus suddenly because on object of desire for all men.

But what I note in looking at such things now is that almost always the character looks far better before the makeover.

TV: Chucky, Seasons One and Two

 

I wasn't going to watch this but decided to give it a try.

It was great.  The writing was wonderful.  Just when you thought the plot had backed itself into a corner some new twist happened and off the story went.

The second half of the second season in particular was just a wonderful manic romp with allusions to all sorts of things flashing in and out.

The cast was good and were certainly up for anything.  I had the feeling that Jennifer Tilly and Rosemary Dunsmore in particular were just ready to go for it.

Lost Things

 

I was reading today and the author mentioned a picture of a milkweed.  That reminded me that I once owned a picture, that I rather liked, of a milkweed and I wondered whatever became of it.  I don't think it involved anything dramatic but I just don't recall it leaving my life.

During the last thirty years or so since I embraced minimalism there are so many things that have been discarded but those have been deliberate decisions that I remember making.  I occasionally  think of one of those things and say to myself, "Yes, that was a nice thing" but not in any sense of missing it or regretting letting go of it.

But there are those other things that now and then come to mind, things that were once part of life, that are simply gone.

In turn that leads to the realization of just how many many things I have owned over the years.

It would be nice if you could go back over your life and pull the things, the pieces of clothing, the books, movies, tv shows, types of food, moments, and people, everything that you really liked, into the present.