Human Kindness

 

I had a sciatica incident recently and it has cleared but left me with "foot drop".  My doctor thinks that will clear up on its own but in the meantime I'm left walking with a limp and finding myself easily off balance.

What I have noticed when I'm out walking is that people seem at times to go out of their way to make navigating the world more difficult for me.  I've had people brush past me (which throws my balance off) I assume because I'm moving too slowly. I've had a woman refuse to move over even an inch on the sidewalk and actually bump into me on purpose (when I was already at the very edge and could move no further out the way).  I had a woman, when I was obviously struggling with my balance, come straight at me with her baby stroller clearly with no intention of slowing down or changing her path.

There have been people who have stopped and held a door open for me, but overall it's pretty hostile out there to someone who isn't at 100%.

Books, ebooks and minimalism

I have been living a minimalist life, downsizing and trying to keep possessions to a minimum since the 1990s.

Lately I've been thinking about books, keeping them or letting them go.

Mostly I don't regret clearing out the majority of my books but I've realized that there is justification for keeping books that you've read.  If you have a physical copy of a book you can check back to remind yourself of the content and particularly of the ending.  Just having it there provides an awareness of what is was about, what it meant to you.  I mainly buy ebooks now and they are always there but it's not the same as having them on a shelf.  I find at times when I'm opening an ebook that I will look at what I've recently read and it's like I remember it but I have in a way forgotten about reading it.  A book on a shelf keeps you aware that you've read it.

So one of the things in life with contradictory feelings connected to it.  I like having books around but I don't like clutter or owning a lot of things.

Food. (Jan 19/24)

 

I'm old.    I live alone.   I have digestive issues.

I have never liked cooking and nowadays it just feels like so much effort and mess.

The list of food items that I can no longer eat is very long:  peppers, onions, cucumbers, spices of any kind, some herbs, tomato sauce, anything really greasy...

There are lots of frozen entree type things available but they generally add things for flavouring or colour (spices, garlic, onions, peppers, etc) which means I can't eat them.  Not to forget the generally huge salt and fat content.  Also, the portion size is ridiculously small.

The reason I started this post was that I was thinking about bologna and wieners.  These are foods that I now get terrible ingestion from and of course fat, salt, spices.  But I have always loved them and it would be wonderful if I could just rely on bologna and hot dogs as my meat consumption. I'd be happy to eat them six days a week.  Or some weeks, seven.

I now mainly buy ground meat in large packages.  I fry that up and remove as much grease as I can and then divide it into portions for the freezer.  

Lately I seem to have turned against vegetables which is a surprise because I've always like them in the past.  I eat them because they're "good for me" but I don't like them.  I find now the best way to manage them is to use a packet of instant broth (of course, again, salt) and cook them as soup.

I've written before about my dislike for brown rice and brown bread.  I recently tried whole wheat bread again and ended up throwing half the loaf out.

Have I written all this before?  I wonder.  This blog has been around for a long time and I don't know when I last looked back at any of it

Sadness

 

There are moments when I'm near to weeping for the gentle gay boys 

who will be born into the world I fear is coming.

Netflix: Movie: May December

About two truly awful women who are vain, manipulative, self-centered and do their best to destroy the people around them.

 

Memory

Everyone should have the chance,

at least once,

to dance naked in the rain.

And if you're very lucky,

when puberty first calls,

to dance naked

in the light

of a full moon.

Netflix: Tore

 

I watched the whole series and I tried to like it.  I tried to like the lead character. I really did.

I always try to watch gay content just because I hope it helps to encourage them to do more.)

But:  The lead character was so totally obnoxious, just a horrible human being.  I thought that was the point of the series and he would "learn about life" and become a better person by the end.  But no.  A prick the whole way through.  Why would any of the other characters in his life put up with him?  It's not like even at his best (usually when he wanted something from someone) that he was likeable.