Saturday, April 4, 2015
I kept a journal for years, hundreds and hundreds of pages written by hand.
I mostly enjoyed doing it but I began to be really uncomfortable with the thought that someone else might read it - by finding it - or after my death, even if I left specific instructions for it to be destroyed unread - and I knew I did not want that. That also began to inhibit my writing because I was always conscious of that "someone" who might someday read it.
So about ten years ago I stopped, re-read ALL those pages and then shredded everything.
The great thing about writing a journal is expressing what you truly think and feel at that moment.
For me it is that expression that is so valuable.
I don't think there is ever anyone in our lives that we can tell everything to. We may think there is but I know from bitter experience that that is never true. Not spouses, or parents or siblings or best friends.
And sometimes the things I'm struggling with, that I want/need to open up about and consider, are things that anyone else is going to find boring and stupid.
Sometimes just writing it down is a way of letting go of it.
So I have started what I think of as temporary journaling. I sit down with a pen and paper and write whatever I want. Then I read it over. Then I shred it.