Oh, how I wish they would not put glitter on greeting cards.

Having a tattoo is not exactly minimalist now,  is it.

Yesterday I bought some beautiful luscious bright red tomatoes.

They have no taste.

Just texture.

It's like eating styrofoam.

Why do people think that if they knock on your door

 you're under some sort of obligation to answer?

Do you know how angry I am?


No,  you don't.


I don't even know how angry I am.

I was woken up this morning by the thump thump thump of one of my neighbours walking around.

How is it possible to make that much noise on floors with a base of poured concrete?

How can it not hurt their ankles and knees?


I live on the top floor.

What must it be like for the poor people who live underneath them?

Oh, that wonderful feeling of freedom when you finally manage to annoy someone enough that they break up with you.