Inner Image

 

When I was growing up my parents, aunts and uncles, told me how although they were older they still felt the same inside.

And they were right.  However my external appearance may have changed inside the feeling of being me stayed essentially constant.  

In these later years I have many times been a bit surprised out in the world seeing myself in a mirror or reflected in a surface.  As though I had to remind myself that I actually am an old man.

I have felt myself failing somewhat in the past year, not able to do physically what I have always done, not as quick, not as energetic, occasionally having trouble remembering names or words.

Along with that I have noticed recently that my inner image has changed too.  Internally I think of myself as an old man.  My refection no longer surprises me.

A Vulgar Display

 

Many years ago when I was quite young I saw a movie on tv.  I think it was probably Love is a Ball with Hope Lange and Glenn Ford.  I haven't tracked it down to rewatch it to be certain but that's not necessary for what I want to say.

What I remember is a romantic comedy with the usual shenanigans going on but at one point the wealthy heiress, played by Hope Lange, is involved with something that her disapproving grandmother refers to as 

"a vulgar display of wealth."

That phrase really struck me at the time and it has stayed with me all my life.  I think it gave me a shorthand reminder that we are capable of, and allowed, and should, make judgments of things in our lives and in the world.  

In our modern world there is no dearth of examples of vulgar displays of wealth but what is much more common are vulgar displays of consumption.  

Marketing, advertising, social media - all show us things and people joyously using them.  But really, isn't a lot of it just too much?

I"m not saying we shouldn't have nice things or that everything we own has to be functional and sensible. But I do think we need to be conscious of why we have things and that we have them for our own reasons and not because of outside influences.

In the same vein I think we should be judging the roots of many of our desires for things -the influencers, the advertisers and marketers, the people who are only famous for being famous.

It's far too easy to waste our precious living time following external influences without judging them.